Lower Decks

The following review contains spoilers for Smallville through the current episode, “Instinct,” originally broadcast October 9th, 2008.

Digging into DC Comics’ bag of Superman’s rouges gallery, Smallville brings Maxima to town. Actually, it’s Tess that inadvertently brings Maxima to Earth. In the process, a rift is created between Jimmy and Chloe, more hints at Clark and Lois’s growing feelings are exposed, and Tess gets her eyes opened about a couple of things.

First, a mini-rant. I know that Smallville films in Vancouver, not Los Angeles, and therefore the available talent pool for guest actors is not as deep as it might otherwise be. Still, how does a network show, even when the network is the CW, end up casting an actress as wooden as Charlotte Sullivan (Maxima)? Maxima is, at least in this incarnation, the queen of an entire planet. She’s also looking for the one man in the Universe that can survive a sexual encounter with her. Why, then, does she deliver her lines like she’s reading a phone book?

Getting back to the story, tests on the crystal found in the arctic (which Tess refuses to believe is a piece of alien technology) cause the crystal to shoot a beam of energy into the sky. Moments later, Maxima flashes into existence in Metropolis, preceded by an alien symbol burnt into the pavement. Maxima assumes the first man she meets was the sender of the Kryptonian beacon she detected. She begins to seduce the man, but her kiss proves fatal to any non-Kryptonian.

As luck has it, Clark gets assigned to help Lois cover the story of the dead man. He spots the alien symbol and also finds out that more dead men have been found in similar circumstances between Metropolis and Smallville. Clark describes the symbol to Chloe and, thanks to Brainiac’s download, she immediately identifies it as being from the Royal Family of Almerac. Not only that, she knows why Maxima is there (she’s looking for a Kryptonian mate) and how she got there (a fancy alien bracelet).

Maxima finds the location from which the beacon originated, the Luthor Mansion. She has a run in with Tess and, due to an invitation from Oliver to Tess, leaves believing that the man she’s looking for is at the Ace of Clubs. So, is Oliver at the club when Maxima gets there? Nope, but Jimmy is. Why? He found the note that Chloe wrote to Clark waaaaay back in Season 2. Yes, folks, this relationship is shaky enough that Jimmy starts drinking over a note that Chloe wrote when she was fifteen! Prime marriage material, no?

Maxima arrives at the club and, through her super alien powers of deduction, determines that Jimmy, being the only single male at a him nightclub in a major metropolitan area, is her Kryptonian soul mate. You’d think that Maxima’s complete lack of personality might inure Jimmy from her advances, but no. There are alien pheromones at work here, and Jimmy locks lips with Maxima… and then starts to suffer a heart attack. Just in the nick of time (how does he do that?) Clark follows the body trail to the club, sees Jimmy in distress (because nobody else at the club notices the guy on the balcony having a heart attack) and super speeds him to the hospital.

Maxima sees, and can even follow Clark’s movements super speed. She’s finally found her Kryptonian. So, of course, she follows him to the hospital and ravages him there, right? Uh, no. Clark gets Jimmy to the hospital and he’ll be fine and that’s about it for now. Clark and Jimmy briefly discuss the note, and Clark chooses not to tell Chloe about just how Jimmy ended up in his present condition.

Speaking of Chloe, where was she? Tess attempted to recruit Chloe to help hack into the crystal that was found in the arctic. Chloe’s not interested, even when Tess reminds Chloe that, through Lex’s files, Tess knows everything about the Isis foundation, her upcoming wedding, etc. etc.

Maxima finally catches up to Clark at the Daily Planet. Once again, alien pheromones overcome telemarketer personality and Clark and Maxima start to get steamy in the elevator… only to be discovered by Lois. Lois runs off. Clark starts to follow, which tells Maxima that there’s far too strong an attraction between Lois and her future mate. Maxima meets Lois on the street and starts to attack her, only to be attacked herself by a Luthorcorp security squad.

Clark, logically, goes to the Isis foundation to do some research, because there’s never been an incidence of a scorned woman retailiating against her would-be lover’s other love interest, and Lois must be perfectly safe. Who does he find there? Tess. Why is she there? God only knows, but it gives Tess the chance to let Clark know about the crystal she found in the Arctic, and it gives Clark the chance to deny having ever seen it. An overheard call to Tess from her security squad sets Clark super-speeding to the scene.

Maxima has finished of the Luthorcorp goons and is ready to kill Lois. Clark snags Maxima and whisks her off to some back alley. She tells Clark that she was going to kill Lois because of Lois’s connection to him, then she throws herself at Clark again. Clark resists and activates Maxima’s bracelet, sending her back to Almerac.

After Clark fills Chloe in on the Kryptonian crystal that Tess has, Chloe agrees to “help” Tess hack into it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, the crystal has been stolen. After Chloe leaves, Tess receives an e-mail telling her that she’s “not ready yet,” and signed with an X.

Good grief, what a poorly executed episode. Characters show up in places where there’s no reason for them to be. They take actions that have no rational thought behind them. Even the resolution was ridiculous. If Clark sent Maxima back to Almerac by using her bracelet, couldn’t she just zap herself back to Earth immediately? It might work for a momentary respite, but as a final resolution it’s beyond lame.

Going beyond the execution, where are we? Clark and Lois are starting to grow closer, though Clark is apparently as brain dead when it comes to Lois’s feelings as he was about Chloe’s. Chloe and Jimmy are together and the wedding is still on, but Chloe’s Brainiac-induced power is growing and she’s unwilling to talk about the implications.

Continuing, Tess probably believes in aliens now. That, probably, was the most significant event of the episode. Why? Because it teaches us several things about Tess. Lex had first-hand encounters with alien technology. The fact that Lex never shared any of this with Tess tells us that she doesn’t know nearly as much about Lex’s business as she pretends to. This encounter with Maxima, and Maxima’s use of the word “Kryptonian” has opened her eyes a bit. If that e-mail really was from Lex (and don’t get me started on the stupidity of Lex going off the grid), he’s right, she isn’t ready, but she learns fast.

Back to the big picture, I applaud the attempts to dig into the DC Vault and find interesting characters from Superman lore. I applaud the attempt to link current events with past episodes. None of that matters, though, if the plot isn’t coherent, if the dialogue is awful and/or if the acting is below community theater level. When done well, connecting with DC and Smallville past continuity can create a very entertaining episode, one which works on several levels. When not done well, you get “Instinct.” After several episodes that were less than stellar, but building in quality, we’ve taken a major step backwards.