Acquisition
Date: Unknown
Original Airdate: March 27th, 2002
By T'Bonz

The Story

A group of Ferengi board the Enterprise, intent upon stealing whatever they can find of value. The crew of the Enterprise has been rendered unconscious, courtesy of an "artifact" that Trip brought back from a trip to a lunar surface. When the artifact was opened, it emitted a knockout gas.

Trip is the only crewmember not affected, having been in the decontamination chamber. He frees himself from the locked room, and clad only in his underwear, sets off to find out what has happened. He discovers that the crew is unconscious, and that aliens have taken over the ship.

The aliens waken Captain Archer, demanding that he lead them to his vault. They are convinced that he has riches stashed away, and they want them. Archer doesn't tell them, so three of them go off on their own to search for it, leaving a cousin, Krem, in charge of loading loot onto the ship. He makes Archer do the work while he supervises.

Meanwhile, Trip gets a hypospray and going to the bridge, awakens T'Pol. After setting off a high-pitched noise to distract the Ferengi, T'Pol slips into the room where they are searching, and plants several scanners belonging to one Ferengi in the bag of another, to breed discontent amongst them. Trip, however, is caught by one of the Ferengi.

All of the Ferengi but Krem go off with Trip, who is to guide them to Archer's vault. Archer fakes an injury so he can't lift things, and is handcuffed by Krem. T'Pol shows up and pretends to be interested in Krem, and distracts him enough to neck pinch him. She then frees Archer, and heads for the other Ferengi.

The Ferengi rush into the now open vault and are shot by T'Pol. Krem is given control of their ship, after returning all of the stolen booty, and the other three Ferengi are shackled. They're warned that both the Vulcan High Command and Starfleet will be notified of their actions.

Review

THE GOOD: Humor. Lots of amusing moments, from the Ferengi trying to talk to Porthos, to Archer's complaints of T'Pol (no sense of humor, always complaining) to her retaliation (toying with the notion of not unshackling Archer and throwing those complaints back in his face).
The Ferengi whip. Great effect on that.

THE VERY GOOD: Continuity and references. The "not met the Ferengi before TNG" was neatly sidestepped by the aliens never being named.
Rules of Acquisition references, #6 and #43 out of #173 (to that date).
Latinum and Beetle snuff.

THE BAD: Archer. Is this guy lame or what? Seems like every week he's getting his clock cleaned.

OVERALL OPINION: This was an amusing episode. I liked how the possible conflict with canon was neatly sidestepped (although surely Archer got the name of the race to report to Starfleet and Vulcan High Command?. I loved the nods to TNG and DS9. The Ferengi whip effect was awesome.
It's getting old seeing Archer get thumped. He either needs self-defense classes or a burly bodyguard.
The actors playing the Ferengi did good jobs, and it was good to see them again.

Grade: 8/10 B+

Cast:
Scott Bakula as Jonathan Archer
John Billingsley as Dr. Phlox
Jolene Blalock as T'Pol
Dominic Keating as Malcolm Reed
Anthony Montgomery as Travis Mayweather
Linda Park as Hoshi Sato
Connor Trinneer as Charles Tucker

Guest Cast:
Jeffrey Combs as Krem
Ethan Phillips as Ulis
Clint Howard as Muk
Matt Malloy as Grish

Creative Staff:
Director: James Whitmore, Jr.
Teleplay By: Maria Jacquemetton & Andre Jacquemetton
Story By: Rick Berman & Brannon Braga