Review
The Bad
Was it assumed at the beginning of the series
that the final episodes would deal with the formation of the Federation?
While that may have been one of the main selling points when the
series first was purposed, even then it seemed sketchy. The formation
was established as taking place a decade or so after the projected
seven year run of the series. Perhaps it was hoped it could be
dealt with in a post-series movie? This was before the blockbuster
bummer that was Nemesis though, before hopes for an Enterprise-centric
movie were all but nixed. So here they are, at the end of a lacklustre
run, three years shy of their goal, and one of the raison d'existence
is looking like it might go unfulfilled. I'd rather it have
gone unfulfilled though rather than get this sort of treatment.
A full season lead up to what, to many, is the one monumental
landmarks of the franchise, should have been given. Half a season
would have been preferable to the literally non-existent one the
episode served. It's not even the focus of the episode.
While I'm not a fan who particularly cares one way or the
other if it was shown, I definitely think it deserved better.
Do it great or don't do it at all. As seems per usual of
Enterprise lat... nah, of it's entire run, half assed is
better than no assed.
Other multiple problems plague this episode
like a, well, plague. Not a cool one like scarlet fever or even
small pox. No, a nasty one like... with oozing boils and diarrhea.
Also, your head explodes (my apologies to any one with this plague
and their families). Plot holes, logic errors (the kind that make
robots spark), and it just being plain uninteresting. In other
words, the usual problems Enterprise exhibits are in spades in
this episode. And shovels. I think I saw a hoe too.
Logic Error #1
The biggest... Ok, let me get this straight... You have a deranged
group of scientists and mad men that stole not one but two DNA
samples from your senior officers (I say DNA samples, since unlike
the rest of the crew, I think it unlikely that they could have
gotten a hold of T'Pol's eggs or Tuckers sperm --well,
the sperm would have been easier, but let's just stick to
the samples-- without either noticing). I'm Archer. I guess
my IQ level just dropped significantly, as I assume the majority
of the people involved in this complex scheme never bothered to
look at photos of the two (and only two) people I send into infiltrate
their operation. I also ASSUME they never came close to them when
they got this sample. I also know that terrorists never read or
watch the news, as otherwise they would recognize the global heroes
wondering around their little mining front.
Side Note #1
Not one that detracts from the stupidity of going in there in
the first place: you know this is a hotbed of terrorists that
hate aliens. Hey T'Pol, why not cover your ears?
You don't even need a hat, just stop putting your hair
behind them. It's like she's flaunting
them.
Side Note #2
Somewhat harder to criticize, but is there really a need to
go undercover? Surely Starfleet has some authority, or the authority
to send someone with authority, into checking out the facility
for suspect equipment and or other... suspicious stuff. But
then there's the fact that Starfleet seemed oddly reluctant
to even investigate the matter...
Logic Error #2
The plan. I pray that I'm just not seeing the big picture at this
time, and the writers are just waiting to surprise me with a big
ta-da! But sadly, I've long ago lost faith in Trek writers to
do just that. What's with the baby? I get that they're probably
going to (try) and kill it, but what good is that going to do?
Is it to prove a point? "Hey, look at this ugly kid, it's
wrong, let's kill it!"? As if that's going to sway people.
Maybe get T'Pol to inadvertently kill it? "Hey, Vulcans suck
so much they kill their own children!" Again, not too convincing.
So far though, we have this mining colony, which brings us to...
Logic Error #3
A mining colony that can pick up and move. That's marginally
cool and relatively clever. Bravo. A mining colony that have warp
engines though? Isn't that a little... stupid? I can't
see that being used more than once every 50 years (a guess, yes),
but aren't warp engines, especially of this time, finicky? It'd
take a lot to maintain them, and given that this is a private
corporation, that's not free either. I get that this was
mainly a front, but he said his dad founded it. Even if he was
willing to sink money into keeping the engines up, they still
had to be designed into the colony. Was this his dad's goal
too?
And let me get this straight... The mine doesn't have artificial
gravity in the traditional sense, but it can go to WARP?
Logic Error #4
Obviously the reason for it to go to warp was to
A) Lose Enterprise
B) Shut people like me up from pointing out that Mars is far from
Earth.
That they tried to get around this is commendable. Then they shoot
it to hell by firing on the moon and the beam getting there like
it was next door. The beam also appears to still pack a punch
when it gets there. Light takes eight minutes to get from the
sun to here. And while I'm not quite geeky enough (or mathematically
inclined) into calculating the time it would take for the laser
(essentially light) to get from Mars to the moon, I figure it'd
be much more than a few seconds. Ahhh, if only I could bend the
laws of the universe to make my speeches more dramatic. Though,
I don't really give speeches all that often, but that'd
still be a neat trick to have.
Consultant Note #1
Karma says: Roughly, 4.4 minutes. The Earth is 8.3 light minutes
from the Sun, Mars is 12.7 light minutes from the Sun. (I say
roughly because neither planet has a perfectly circular orbit).
Logic Error #5
The weapon. Laughably easy to take over, to be sure. Its lack
of security would make sense were it underpowered, but from his
smug impression and the "To Be Continued", I assume
it poses some risk. This doesn't make sense though, if it really
is meant to only divert asteroids. I assume they would have ships
standing by to take care of really big ones, and they could probably
do it more efficiently. But anyways... Why was it on the surface?
Which brings us to:
Plan Logic Error #1
This weapon, being on the surface, should have limited range
(which it apparently doesn't) and an extremely limited firing
arc. Since they just fired on the moon, we can assume that they
are currently facing there. Even if it could fire 180 degrees
in any direction (and assuming Mars is perfectly flat... maybe
in Trek it IS), that's not even a fraction of the solar system.
They can also only fire on targets currently facing them on
Earth. Meaning having to wait up to 12 hours for the Earth to
rotate back round. Methinks his "we can fire on any ship
or facility in the system"' was just a bunch of macho-big
talk. It would be laughably easy to avoid this gun. Such a device
really should have been placed in space to be effective
Plan Logic Error #2
How are they going to know when every last alien in the entire
system is gone? And... then what? Control their big gun of laughable
importance for the rest of time? Anyone else think this plan
was doomed from the start?
Logic Error #6
A known terrorist with a fatal gunshot wound waltzes into arguably
the most important thing to happen on Earth with no security pass?
No patting down? My high school had better security. My local
LIBRARY has better security. What happened to whoever shot her
anyways? "Meh, she's still walking, but it's my break"
Logic Error #7
The whole "Trip doubting T'Pol" thing. Haven't these
people ever heard of surrogate mothers? Contrary to what Tucker
thinks, she CAN have a baby if she's never been pregnant. There
are thousands of families out there in that exact situation (not
the 'crazed psychopath wants to make a baby against my knowledge
only to kill it' situation though). Artificial wombs are on the
horizon today, they wouldn't need someone to even carry the child.
As I said above, they needn't even have sperm or eggs to produce
this child. DNA samples from both would do. Phlox should have
said as much.
The (More) Bad
The top of every list of an episode I review: Bakula.
A petri-dish can act better than him. It'd probably make Archer
more likeable as well. "Clap louder, that's an order" indeed.
Apparently 22nd century medicine hasn't come up with a cure
to 'stickupthebum-itis' yet.
Archer gets off his moral high horse about
Section 31. If his horse is even that high anymore. Personally
I think the horse wondered off and he's been sitting on
the ground ever since. They're the first avenue Archer explores.
Actually their advise was hilarious, if you rewatch the scene,
it goes something like this:
Reed: Do you know anything about the baby?
Where is it?
S31: Terra Prime! Terra Prime! Terra Prime!
Reed: What? Who? Are they up to something?
S31: Find the baby and you'll find your answers
Reed: Uh... thanks. Big help...
It's applaudable that their finally
giving something to Travis to do, but man alive that was pretty
uninteresting. And unsurprisingly out of place. Which I guess
in this episode was IN place. His acting was, understandably,
a little rusty though.
We get it. It's ironic that minorities
are involved in the movement. There's no need to hit me
over the head with it. If I recall correctly, the only people
who spoke to Paxton (that didn't die) were black. In fact,
this movement had very little in way of white people, if that
faux meeting was any indication. What exactly is this bit of casting
hinting at? With those guys, and Travis' role exploding
100234% as compared to the rest of the season, it makes me think
the NAACP were getting on their case.
Samuels says "the Vulcan's can't watch
our backs anymore..." Isn't that the entire point of the
conference? Where are the Vulcans going? Grey Haven?
The Few, The Good, The... Passable
The alien makeup at the conference was quite possibly the best
of the series. The one guy in the mask's voice was waaay
out of place, but it was so out of place it was almost IN place.
For a second I thought I was watching Angel.
Speaking of Angel, it was nice to see some
of the Mayor's offspring doing so well for themselves.
Phlox mentions a Klingon procedure he tried
while analysing the DNA, a nice carry over from his time in their
custody in that one episode I'd really rather forget.
Unanswered Questions
What was Paxton injecting himself with?
Is Gannet really a spy? I hope not, as that would be classic Trek
formula, the conclusion involving her atonement and/or death.
I sincerely hope she's being set up.
What's the whole deal with the baby?
Why didn't the Xindi ever apologize?
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